Let’s Talk About It: Why We Still Fear Dementia
I’ve spent years in this field—talking about dementia, teaching about dementia, and walking alongside families living with dementia. And yet, what continues to surprise me is how much fear still surrounds the topic.
You would think with the number of people affected—millions worldwide, and nearly one in three seniors dying with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia—we would be talking about it constantly. But instead, I see silence. Avoidance. Discomfort.
When I attend senior expos, health fairs, or community events, I often feel like I’m wearing an invisible sign that says, “Approach with caution.” People will walk around my table as if dementia might be contagious.
At one event, I was set up next to a professional friend who runs a funeral home. We both laughed at how many people steered clear of our tables. Because just like death, no one really wants to talk about dementia.
But both are part of life. And ignoring them doesn’t make them go away—it just makes the journey harder for the people living it.
Breaking the Silence
Here’s the truth: dementia is not going away. It’s not “someone else’s problem.” It’s everyone’s reality—if not now, then eventually. Whether it’s a loved one, a friend, a client, or even ourselves, dementia touches every community.
That’s why we need to talk about it.
Not just doctors, not just caregivers, not just people in healthcare—everyone.
The cashier at the grocery store who wonders why an older adult is struggling to count change.
The server at a restaurant who grows impatient when a guest takes too long to order.
The pastor at church who notices a longtime parishioner becoming more withdrawn.
The neighbor who waves but doesn’t realize their friend is repeating the same story over and over.
These are all opportunities for connection and understanding—but only if people know what they’re seeing.
It’s Okay to Talk About Dementia
We don’t have to whisper the word like it’s a secret. Talking about dementia doesn’t make it real—it acknowledges that it’s already here.
And when we talk about it, we give people permission to ask questions, to share stories, to seek help, and to stop pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.
Dementia isn’t shameful. It’s a medical condition that affects the brain, not a reflection of a person’s worth or character. When we understand that, we replace fear with empathy.
And when empathy enters the conversation, everything changes.
Finding Ways to Connect
Connection doesn’t require big gestures—it just takes presence.
It can be as simple as:
- Making eye contact and greeting someone by name.
- Offering to walk beside instead of ahead.
- Speaking slowly and giving someone time to respond.
- Playing familiar music, sharing a favorite snack, or reminiscing about a happy memory.
These small moments can mean everything to someone living with dementia. They remind them that they still belong, that they still matter, and that they are still seen.
We can also make our communities more dementia-friendly. Imagine restaurants with quiet seating areas, churches with volunteers trained to support those with memory loss, and stores where staff are patient and understanding when confusion sets in. These are simple steps that help people stay engaged instead of isolated.
Why I Keep Talking
I talk about dementia every day. It’s part of my work, yes—but it’s also part of my heart. Even when I try to separate “work Jen” from “life Jen,” dementia has a way of sneaking in. A story I hear. A family I meet. A memory of my dad.
And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because talking about dementia—openly, honestly, and without fear—is how change happens.
So I’ll keep showing up at those health fairs, even if people walk past my table.
I’ll keep answering questions, listening to stories, and encouraging conversations that others avoid.
Because the more we talk, the less scary dementia becomes.
Yes, it’s a devastating disease. Yes, it changes families. But there is still life to live. There are still good days, laughter, hugs, music, and joy.
When we open our hearts and our communities, we make space for those living with dementia—and for those who love them—to find connection, comfort, and hope.
Let’s stop letting fear drive the conversation.
Let’s start talking, learning, and embracing this journey together.
