💜 Letting Go of Right and Wrong: Embracing Flexibility in Dementia Care
One of the hardest lessons in dementia care is learning to let go of the ideas of right and wrong, or good and bad. When you’re caring for someone with dementia, those black-and-white rules that used to guide your choices often stop applying—and that can feel unsettling at first.
But here’s the truth: this disease isn’t cookie cutter, and neither is the care it requires.
Every person living with dementia is different. Their history, values, relationships, and the unique way their brain is changing—it all shapes how they experience the world. What works for one person may completely fall flat with another. And what worked yesterday might not work today.
That’s because dementia affects the brain both structurally and chemically, and those changes can shift hour by hour. A calm morning may turn into a restless afternoon. A once-favorite song may no longer bring comfort. Even something as simple as getting dressed can go from manageable to overwhelming in a flash.
So what do we do?
We let go of perfection, and instead, we ask one simple question:
👉 Is this working right now?
If it is—wonderful.
If it’s not—try something else.
That might mean altering your tone of voice. Changing the timing of a task. Offering a snack first. Turning off the TV. Taking a walk instead of trying to reason. It might even mean making the heartbreaking decision to transition your loved one to a care facility—not because it’s “right” or “wrong,” but because it’s what they need at this stage.
Letting go of right and wrong allows us to respond with compassion over judgment. It reminds us to focus on what’s best for the person in front of us—not our pride, not the opinions of others, and not even what used to work in the past.
Because dementia care isn’t about finding perfect solutions.
It’s about showing up, staying flexible, and leading with love.
If you’re struggling with tough decisions or wondering what’s “right” for your loved one, you don’t have to do it alone. At Dementia Family Support, we offer guidance, education, and one-on-one consultations to help you navigate this journey with grace and confidence.
💜 Visit DementiaFamilySupport.org and let’s take the next step—together.
